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Whitney. Still Praying.

For many years, I couldn’t turn my ringer off on my phones because my mother was very ill.  My phone would be on all night. This is tough for me because I’m the type of man who loves to be in pure quiet when I’m home. No TV, no radio, no nothing. Just quiet. Mainly because there is so much noise in my life.

After my mother died in 2009, I started turning my ringer off without the fear of missing a very important call. After you lose someone you love, nothing seems very important. So I was at my house in L.A. last year on February 11th, dreading facing February 12th. That would have been my mother’s 67th birthday. I’m always a little sad around that time but that morning started out okay. I thought I wouldn’t be able to get through the 12th. All I had to do was protect my spirit, let me just leave the TV off and turn the ringer off so that I could not be reminded of the grief that I had been enduring.

I decided to turn in early. I was getting in the bed and my cell kept lighting up. So I finally looked at my phone and I had text about Whitney. The one that was most shocking was a friend who said, “Tell me it’s not true.” I immediately knew what that meant. I tried to call Pat, her sister-in-law, but couldn’t reach her. Within a few minutes Pat called me back and asked me to come down to the hotel.

I went to the Beverly Hilton Hotel, got out of the car and I thought it was some kind of sick joke. There were hundreds of people standing around, laughing, drinking and screaming for autographs from celebrities as they arrived for a Grammy party. People were screaming my name and taking pictures as I pushed through the crowd. I went up to the floor and saw the police and coroners outside of the room. I went into the room and Whitney’s family was broken down, inconsolable. We must have been right above the party because there was a glass of water on the nightstand that was vibrating from the bass and the screams below. It was so surreal. Such a juxtaposed position to see this family breaking down and hear laughter and cheers from below us. It really made me think about her life. While her voice brought so much joy, there was so much sadness inside of her.

As I am seeing all these tributes to her on this one-year anniversary of her death, I want you to know something: Whitney was a fighter. She really tried to get herself together. She really tried to overcome. She really wanted to, and I also know that, like me, a lot of you were praying and rooting for her. So, for all of us that were praying for Whitney’s full recovery, for all of us who cared that she was on this planet, for all of us who loved her, I just want you to know that even though she is gone, there are still things that we can do for her. We can keep her daughter and her family lifted up in prayer. We can also pray for other people in this business, especially these young people who come in so bright eyed and eager, only to have it tear at their very souls.

I thank God I didn’t become successful until I was older. The younger you are when you start in this business, the more at risk you are.  Speaking of that, we can also pray for the children of these people. If you only knew what people in this business have to endure to sit in their seat. I’m not asking you to feel sorry for anyone. I’m simply asking you to pray for us all.

God bless. Miss you Whitney.

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  • Angie Atlanta

    12.12.12 marked 7years for my mother's death she would've only been 60.My father died at 48 . I must say its been hard cause both parents died at home .13 yrs apart.I was shocked to hear about Whitney. I must say I cried because I'd miss her and I cried for her daughter because I know the pain of losing your mother at an unexpected young age. I pray that God will continue to comfort the families that have lost love ones including mine and I ask God to touch our minds in Jesus name. As years passes it gets easier to cope but you will never forget the ones you love.Keep God first and remember to cry when you to cry and stay grounded in God's word satan want our mind .Body of Christ keep praying for one another love you and be blessed always.:-)

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  • Stephanie Jones-Carroll Marietta, Georgia

    Hi Tyler I always pray for you because I see how difficult it is to lose a parent my Mom lost her mother Sunday Jan 6, 2002 her birthday was August 27 this year she would have been 89 yrs old I hate to see the 26 come because she gets down and then she starts talking about her I always hear the pain in her voice and see it in her eyes when she talks about my grandmother the pain never goes away you learn to live with it but it never gets easier I feel silly and stupid when I ask God to keep my parents with me because I know that's not the realistic way of thinking but it's hard to imagine life without them and a bridge me just like every other child don't won't to cross but know one day will have to so I pray for myself just like you and everyone else that God make us stronger so those who have crossed that bridge can bare the burden of the loss of a parent and that those that have not God makes the pain easier to bare to cross that bridge. LOVE YOU!!!!! HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!!!!

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  • Ms Proverbs Owings Mills, Maryland

    Hi there Tyler, Just checking and thinking about you. Hope all is well with you today. May God strengthen you and keep you in Perfect Peace (*_*) I must say you are a true soldier Yes you are Indeed! Praying for you, Whitney's family, and those who are in that type of business (Young and old) Sending smiles you way (*_*) (*_*) God Bless You Today Ms. Proverbs

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  • Beverly Pearson Riverside,R.I.

    Hey Tyler,your message was recieved and touching....I don't know you personally but there is a spiritual connection between all human beings. I feel the pain in your words about your mother passing and my heart and prayers goes out to you,always remember "God" is "Able". Whitney was a very special woman who loved life but the difficult times we all goes through sometime are unbearable to handle. I felt her spirit,whitney was hurting "Bad",I'm not judging her because I've been through my trials and tribulations in this life too. You know? I'm much older now and I've learned to face my problems head on, as a human beings we sometimes don't or hate to deal with our issues and we turn to other things to sedate ourselves so we don't have to think about the pain. Whitney was "Loved" by many but it wasn't the love she was seeking and that is what really hurts because no one could help her. You also have to remember who have our best interest? "Our Father God"! "God" knows what's best for "Us" because we are his precious "Creation"! I wish I could take Kristina in my arms and just "Love" the hurt out of her, because she is hurting like her mother was hurting....it's like a "Domino Effect"! Mr Tyler Perry,I'm a child of "God" today and I pray for all of "US" we need it because these are "Perilous Times" on this earth. Your heart "Shines" and you're "Selfless",you think of others before yourself,"God bless you"! I know your heart,your faith is in "God", "God" got "US All In His Hands"!! "Amen"!! "Wishing you a very Happy Valentines Day"!!

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  • Latrichia Whitsett, NC

    Heavenly Father, In the name of Jesus we lift up, by the power given to us through your Holy Spirit, all of these souls. The young and the old souls need your love in their lives. Some may not know or recognize you when you arrive. But fight God! Fight for these souls. Not because they deserve you. Not because they love you. And not because we've earned you. The reason I ask for your help is because your Son, Jesus Christ, died for all of those who believe in Him. So for the souls that belong to you who may have turned against you and their true selves. I ask you to seek them out. Stalk them to change them and bless them. Allow us to see a change in these people. Wow us Lord because you said your able. Not only are you able to do exceedinly above all we can think or ask. You say in Numbers the 11th chapter that you can do anything. (I did'nt list the verse so people would read the whole chapter). Bless those who serve you now and bless those who you know will serve you later, now. We thank you because your so good we know your going to do it. Your kindness is unmeasurable. Your Love, Mercy, and Grace a have kept me all my days and I know others can say the same. For those who dont praise you because they dont know your love. Please show them and show it to them in a way that they know its you. Please erase fear and worry from hearts and minds. And I ask you Lord to extend this prayer to the world. Let no soul go unloved by you. Dont allow anyone to get to heaven and stand before you who can honestly say they haven't felt your love. Pour it out and make us sticky with it. The kind of Love where we dont want to go to far. Only you can do it that's why I ask. Your power has created this world thats why I pray for the world. Hebrews says But now at last, God send His Son to bring His message to us.God created the universe by His Son, and everything will someday belong to the Son. God's Son has all the brightess of God's own glory and is like Him in every way. By His own mighty word, He holds the universe together. How powerful are YOUR words. Make us a perfect gift. Forever serving you, In Jesus' Name, Amen. Me!!!

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  • James

    I remember the weeks before Whitney's death when she was supposed to make her comeback with Sparkle. People, even then, were saying stuff like her voice was gone etc. I felt compelled to stand up to those people, but I

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    • James #1797341

      don't remember if I did. Anyway, I remember listening to her song Oh Yes about a week before she died, and then seeing those pics of her worse for wear outside that club the day before she died. At the time I thought she might have been ill, but I thought she would pull it together like she always did before. My partner told me the next day that she was dead. All I could say was "That's f**ked up." It was weird too because I was taking a bath at the time and well yeah... the way she died and all. Her death didn't properly hit me till the next day. I realized what the world had lost. Since her death I've felt very numb myself, even now to this day. Maybe I'm a little strange for feeling that way. Whitney wasn't my number 1 favorite singer, but she was definitely up there. She was part of my childhood in a big way. Her song, I Will Always Love You, was played at my aunty's funeral. Plus the fact that music isn't like it used to be, losing Whitney compounded that fact. I don't think I will ever stop missing Whitney. And I do feel a terrible void now that she's gone. I guess I'm just one of those people who finds it hard to lose someone, even if I didn't know them personally.

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  • Catina Goldsborough Bridgeton, New Jersey

    Hi Ty (Abraham), It is remarkable how two people who never met can relate to similar situations. I said that to say this. February 12th is a day that tries to take over my life. My mother had one sister who was born on February 12th. She passed away, in her thirties, in 1996. She was my aunt, my friend, my sounding board, and I miss her so much. In 2007, on February 12th, my grandmother, my mom's mother, died. The very next year 2oo8, on February 12th, my dad passed away as well. February 12th is a day that seems to be sad, long, and empty. I decided last year to take the day back from the devil. This is the day the Lord has made I shall rejoice and be glad in it!!! With Love and Continuous Prayer, Catina (your Jersey family and friend)

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  • Andrea Pittsburgh, PA, USA

    Tyler I love who God have made you to be all successful Black men an women are in my prayers. We need more leaders and humanitarians in our world to make it better and not destroy each other and love our neighbors as yourself. I love you and praying without ceasing for love. Love and peace be multiplied unto you. Andre

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  • silvia castro Bloomfield noe in Newark!

    I miss her! when I heard I called my son crying, my son ask me what happen, I told him whitney is dead!, He said to me Mom you are crying for a person that is not one of our family members... Houston has been with me ever seen she came out. Listening to all of her songs, trying to sing like her. I heard about her issues and prayed for God to help her.. She will always be part of me.. I didn't know my own strength help me lose 40 lbs and now in my second semester in College! R.I.P!

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  • Andrea United States

    Greetings Tyler, I love to hear your version of a testimony, life experiences and stories because you write them very well. I understand your desires to he still in the presence of God to bear strength and endurance. You social life is very busy and you have to think a step ahead of people to keep order and give help in areas others expect you to know how. You need a solace time to restore, redeem and collect your visions to expand to keep what God have given you to enlarge. We know for much is given and much to be maintained. God loves you and there is nothing you can do to make him love you more. Enjoy his strength I'm our weakness allowing him to guide you, make you over, perfect you in his way. You said you protect your spirit but let God protect your heartthat you think with giving you his abundance of grace. You can use friends who is outside the box of the business and not pulling at you for anything. Just allowing to be you in your space. A friend that listens to your heart and can help you protect it like a wife you trusted who will love you closer than a friends and not hurt you, will keep your secrets and allow you to be her Lord with honor. God did not make man to be alone, you can use a lifetime friend. My heart was broken to hear Whitney gone as well as Michael but do you see the pattern. Beautifully people talented got caught up in delivering and people vans and audience put them on a petal stole wanting more of their music and performance yet after they were alone. Your mom is dear and close to your heart because of her love she instill love in you with Hod because he is love. There is no greater love than the love of God. I say this is said to be separated from those we love but the prayers and for us who are still here to make it by the grace of God. We know those we love are with the Lord and in A place where love abides. I pray for you and you pray for me. We will make it according the will of God. Put God first and always wait on the Lord he will make room for you in the business. Don't compromise Gods righteousness for anything in the world and God will protect your heart. We can rest in God peace in relationship in his spirit with holiness. Remember we can do no more for God than we do for each other. Pray without ceasing. We love him because he first loved us. Cast all your cares upon him for he cares for you. .

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  • Andrea G Queens

    I pray for my family who pasted away everyday, and working on family tree I pray for everyone, and it's our job here in earth One Love Thank You

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  • Sharon Vann-Williams Richmond, VA

    Tyler my prayers are with you. A mother is so very precious! Your letter brought tears my eyes. I love my mother too and she has serious memory issues. Just like you, I long to see her and talk to her. My brother and his family are currently caring for her and do an great job. But for years, I've wanted to relocate her here...even before she became ill. We use to talk every single day and now I don't have that opportunity. I have suggested improvements for her care (to engage her more) and since my sibling were overwhelmed, it was not heard and I was severely blasted! All is well now, but it really did hurt. For the Christmas break God spoke to my heart to go get my dear Mommy and it was awesome! She did more with me than she generally does with others...it was all God. It was not easy, it was a labor of love. I praise God my little son helped out too! I sent you a letter a while ago after my divorce to let you know how much Diary helped me and gave me hope after an abusive marriage. Well, since then I have been working on a career change from Social Work to Education. I even received my M.Ed in 2011! But since my degree did not have a license attached, I still have not been given an opportunity to have a provisional license to teach...so I continue to work as one of the hardest working Instructional Assistants around. I love my school and the awesome children I serve! I come from the urban setting myself (Newark, NJ) and I know that our "poor" children deserve the best...that's why I went back to school (don't even let me tell you of my huge student loan debt...God is able). Needless to say, I have to be more financially set before I can purchase my house and bring my sweet Mommy here to VA. I came close last year, but because my debt to income ratio was not good (my credit is) I could not qualify for a good mortgage. All in God's timing! I know that God is blessing me, since He has given me more teaching opportunities! I have also started a book club at my school and I am working with another class to send their writings to our awesome President! I have so many dreams and I know that as my mind in stayed on Christ, He will provide my every need. Thanks for your witness and I will pray for your heart...mothers can not be replaced. God bless!

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