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Talking About The Taboo!

There are some stats that say 1 out of 6 boys have been or will be sexually abused. This is such a tragic statistic and what it tells me is that not only are there a lot of boys who have been abused and hurt, but that they grew or will grow into men who are still hurting and in pain from such a sick violation. Most men never saying a word about it, just suffering in silence. The tragedy in this is multilayered. Lots of people, especially men, dismiss it as something that happened, not really knowing that the effects are far-reaching. The effects from childhood molestation can cast a net that will affect you and everyone you love for the rest of your lives if not addressed. I know that this is difficult to talk about or even acknowledge, especially for men. That's why I am so happy that Dr. Howard Fradkin has written a book called Joining Forces to help men who are adult survivors learn to cope, deal and most of all stop suffering in silence.

Most of you reading this are not male... I know that because most of my audience is women :-) I know some of you are saying, "why is this important to me?" Well I'll tell you. I can assure you, his abuse can directly affect his relationship with you. It is such a cycle and this book is what can help to apply the brakes to stop the spinning. If you know of a male who has been sexually abused, this book is a must read in helping you understand him. If you suspect it or not, most of the telltale signs are common and lots of them are discussed in Joining Forces.

Let me be clear, Dr. Fradkin asked me to write the forward for this book, but I did not, nor will I ever, receive any monies for his book. That's not why I did it or why I'm sending this message to you. The reason I'm doing all of this is because I know the pain and the darkness and the shame that we as men can carry when these evil acts have been put upon us. But I also thank God. I know the peace and comfort that comes along with healing from the horror. Healing can start by reading this book.

Joining Forces is on sale now wherever books are sold.

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  • Tiffanie Ohio

    I teach Sociology and my students often get into interesting debates about homosexuality and whether a person is born that way or is it learned behavior. I've come to the conclusion that it can be both depending on the individual. Regardless of how they have determined their sexual orientation it should never stop us from loving them.....as God has commanded us! Yes, I'm taling to the church. It's funny how we want God to forgive us of our sins (lying, raping, murdering, stealing and backbiting) and show us grace and mercy and yet we don't have forgiveness, grace, mercy and love for people with alternative lifestyles. God chose to love all of us even in our dirty sins and so I choose to love!

    Reply
  • Nana Shembe South Africa

    WOW GOD WILL STILL BLESS YOU, YOU ARE ONE IN A MILLIOM SIR.

    Reply
  • Natalie

    Tyler, May god continue to strengthen you each day. Psamls 40:2 He brought me up also out of a horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock and established my ... and set my feet on solid rock. ... You let me stand on a rock ... He picked me up, put me on solid ground. You have been truly blessed may god continue to bless you. It is amazing what a person has gone thru in life that they walk around holding in and it tears at their lives each day. But until you face it and pray on it and ask god for strength you are never able to deal with horror and terror in your life.

    Reply
  • Carol Rigsbee Columbus, Ohio

    Dear Mr. Perry, thank you and may God continue to 'bless' every effort in your life! I had a brother who had been molested by someone in the family, it spread from him to others. He is deceased now, but he renewed his commitment to Christ the last few months of his life. Thank you for the information about the book...now I know what to give to those in need. Much love <3.

    Reply
  • Lulu blu Hawaii

    Any time awareness can be made to stop the spread of an epidemic it is well worth speaking of. Many of the youth of this 21st century have been desensitized with the things of this world...graphic video games, easily accessible Internet p*** sites, etc. and these 'abuses' are not addressed as often or quickly as they should be as you mentioned for various reasons. Yet I believe unequivocally that God Himself will use the same technology that is being used a crutch and desensitizing resource will also be used to glorify Him and for good to provide those able to help the lost,broken,abused to be led to know Jesus as their Lord and Savior. keep up the blessed work Mr. Perry, addressing the issues placed before you that can be addressed from the 'survivor' perspective and not allowing to have the 'victims' have abuse be the ending to their story. God bless you and those who suffer at the hands of others.

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  • Donna Plano, TX

    Tyler, thank you for sharing your feelings/descriptive words about sexual abuse, and wanting to help others to heal. "Have to feel before you can heal"....a GREAT book is "Feeling Good" by David Burns, that can help people too, and "Boundaries - Where you end and I begin" by Anne Katherine.

    Reply
  • Stella Nairobi, Kenya

    Sometimes one doesn’t have the words to use to make the other person feel better. To whoever has been molested as a child, I offer lots of love and a hug that says all you want to hear. And am with you in whatever emotion, maybe pain, anger, self-drive to get up.. anything that makes you feel better.

    Reply
  • Taiqueitha McKinley Los Angeles, Ca

    That is very true. I'm a single parent as well as a college student. I wrote a resarch/essay about something in which involved this subject, except my focus was on the female offenders. The things I found out would have brought tears to the eyes of many, knowing that these women were in fact doing these horrible things to these children, both boys and girls. I could not do anything but shake my head at such ignorance and pray that my child will always be in good hands.

    Reply
    • keiori augast #1788391

      hello tyler perry i love your show can i be on your show

      Reply
  • Theresia SC

    TEARS!!!

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  • AMIENIA HULSEY MISSOURI

    ITS SO SAD I SPELLED MY OWN LAST NAME WRONG ON THE LAST POST...SMH. ITS HULSEY...LOL

    Reply
  • AMIENIA HUKLSEY missouri

    HELLO TO YOU MY MENTOR. IT IS SO AMAZING THAT YOU ARE SPEAKING ON THIS...........PLEASE GET IN TOUCH WITH MEE.............WE NEED TO HELP THESE YOUNG MEN, PLEASE JOIN MEE IN MY VISION.........THIS IS NOT A JOKE, HELP MEE IN THIS VISION...............UNTIL WE MEET BE BEYOND BLESSED....

    Reply
  • Maya Thomas Gainesville Fl

    This is a serious matter and the statistics are very alarming. Also Mr. Perry I am 19 years old.

    Reply
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