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I Still Miss You

I woke up this morning missing you like you'll never know. I dream about you. Sometimes when I'm alone I can hear your laughter fill the room. It was such a distinct laugh. It meant that everything was right in the world. On Sunday I would watch you singing your heart out in the choir, shouting about how good our God is. We didn't tell the preacher that on Friday night you were singing down-home blues at the top of your lungs, sipping your Hennessy. You loved the blues. You loved playing tonk till midnight in the projects. That was fun you'd say... for you. I wanted to go to bed :-)

I can almost hear you singing right now. Z.Z. Hill was your favorite blues singer. I can feel you from when you would hug me so tight and tell me, "everything is gonn be alright" and how much you loved me. I remember when you were mad at me. That never lasted long. Every year on my birthday you would call me and sing the Happy Birthday song to me. I would call you and ask if you needed anything, anything at all, and you would say, "I need you to be happy".

I don't know if I could have truly expressed how proud I was of you, but I was so proud of you. I remember you saying, "you know I did the best I could with you..." And yes, I know that. I know that you loved me like no other on this earth. Your best was more than good enough. IT WAS!

And I loved you. I still love you so much. I know I was your hope and I know I am your dream. I know that you couldn't go on anymore. I know your body was letting you down although you wanted to stay for us. I'm glad you have no more pain but I have pain now missing you every day. It's been almost four years now, so it's getting easier. Knowing you're with our God helps me get through.

I love and miss you every day. I'm OK now. Standing on my own. Holding you in my heart.

I love you mamma and I always will.

W. Maxine Perry
1945-2009

If you're reading this, tell them you love them before it's too late.

Comments (page 10)

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  • Jeanette C. Tucson, AZ

    Good morning Perry. I was reading your letter to your mother this morning and it touched my heart. I lost my mother nine years ago to matestisized (not sure I spelled that right) breast cancer. I watched over her hospital/hospice care her last six months because she couldn't be at home; the insurance wouldn't cover it. My mother believed that saying the words were good but your actions spoke more for you than words ever could. And she showed us her love everyday of our lives. I thank God that I had the chance to tell her that we loved her and for her to be at peace. She went home to God three days later. I pray that she sees how blessed my children make me feel everyday. I'm grateful God didn't take me when I made a stupid chose a few months ago, but while lying in that hospital bed, I could feel my mother's spirit with me and hear her voice telling that my children still needed me and The Father still had work for me and to hang on. I say this because, I know that our mothers never really leave us. It was just time for their spirits to go home. May God continue to bless and keep you Tyler. And keep up the wonderful work you're doing. It's a blessing to so many.

    Reply
  • Olivia Harrell Chicago

    Aww!! Can't believe it has been 4 years since youe moms passing. :(

    Reply
  • Gwen South Carolina

    Thanks for sharing that. I miss and will always love my mom as well. We were blessed to have had a life with them. I feel as though she is always with me. Love to you.

    Reply
  • Celena Nelson-Williams Houston,TX

    Hello Tyler. My heart goes out to you and that's not just something to say. I lost my mother Sept 5, 2000. Her birthday would have been yesterday the day you posted your tribute to your mother. So I was already in that same place you were in on yesterday remembering how much she loved and sacrificed for me and how everyone admired her w** and her fairness and understanding demeanor. I was and still am her baby girl and just like you Tyler I try to make her proud of me everyday. As you stated it gets easier everyday, but still after 13 years on July 29th on her birthday I remember my beautiful and wonderful mother. So no harm no foul in remembering Tyler. My heart and prayers are with you always. And for the record...your mother did a wonderful job with you! And I know you will continue to make her proud........Side bar (The Haves and the Have Nots is off the chain)..........:) Keep it HOT!!!

    Reply
  • Celena Nelson-Williams Houston

    Hello Tyler. My heart goes out to you and that's not just something to say. I lost my mother

    Reply
  • Monique Netherlands

    Thank you so much for sharing this. You know I see my mother everyday because she lives one floor above me. And it seems that daily things become so common that we dont say I love you. But today I did, she was like, is there something wrong with you I told her no because we never say I love you to each other. So thank you.xxxx

    Reply
  • Frankie Roberts Milwaukeee, WI 53212

    Hello Mr. Perry: Funny how I look at my email and see this from you. You made me so happy to hear about how you should feel about your mother no matter what she did or didn't do. You only get one. I have been down thinking about her for the last few days and then I read this from you. Thank you. The bible tells us that our thoughts are always going to be with us, but we have to go on and learn that we will never forget but learn to live without. My mother was special to me as well and I am always telling my children and the children I work with be kind to your parents and your days will be longer on this earth. It is ashame that many of our children do not believe this because of the way they are being raised. Mr. Perry, again I thank you for this. I love my mother as well. Beatrice C. Roberts 1. (Breast Cancer) P.S. I encourage all men and women to have a breast examination at least once a year. Breast cancer is not just happening among women. (Breast Cancer does not always start with a LUMP) have yourself check.

    Reply
  • Angela M. Jones Middletown, PA

    I feel you on that subject!! My mother pasted a few years ago, and even thou we weren't close as I would have liked, I miss her dearly I have a grand baby now she would be a great grandmother. I'd love to see her face if she could see her!! She would love it!! I miss my oldest brother Farley too, hurts my heart that he was gone so young so kind and a good heart wish my son could have met him!! I miss you too in a different kind of way!! Even thou I'm very angry with you!, hurts more like it and you know what I'm talking about!! Oh well I said it!!!! Have a GOOD DAY!! Talk to your MOM out loud makes me feel better when I do!!

    Reply
    • lindiwe South Africa Durban #1857846

      Your truly an inspiration Mr Perry , I'm greatful I still have my mother but what's said is that she can't support me because she's unemployed but she's everything to me I'm only asking god to keep her until I can stand on my own , my mother can't support me financially but she's always there through it all , when I cry , when I'm not feeling well she knows how to make me feel better . I'm just asking god for a home where me and my mother will live together and I'll get a job and be able to support her! :'( God bless you

      Reply
  • Quanesha KCMO

    So beautiful & heartfelt. The love of a mother is something that no one can replace. May God continue to give you strength to continue pushing. Your mother is smiling down on you because you are fulfilling what she wanted...YOU HAPPY! :) Thank you for this! May you continue to be blessed!

    Reply
  • Patricia Reid Mooresville

    Tyler...my heart goes out to you because I know what you are feeling. I lost my mom when I was 10 yrs. old. That was over 40 yrs. ago and I still miss her. Your words brought tears to my eyes this morning, Tyler. May God bless you this morning...you will always remember her, and I want to say that the longing for your mother's arms will get easier, but at this very moment I can't say that........

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  • Patricia Reid Mooresville, NC

    @Deirdre...so right, good or bad...she loved you!

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  • oDeirdre Washington 98387

    I had the same kinda dream about my mother she wasnt perfect but she was my mother i no if she could see me now she would be happy and tell me what she thinks im doing wwrong but thats why i loved her. She was a drug addict for years and i prayed and prayed then she had a stroke and i prayed and prayed then she was just tired and ready to go home to be with the lord and i miss her like. Crazy. Good or badshe loved me

    Reply
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