Tyler Perry.com

Home

Move On!

Here’s a thought (I DON'T WANT YOU TO DO THIS, JUST THINK ABOUT IT). Get into the front seat of your car, then turn your body around. Knees on the front seat with your back on the steering wheel, your face looking toward the trunk. Stay in that position and try to drive the car forward. It’s impossible, right? If by some miracle you do manage to go forward I guarantee you won't get very far. If the car represents our lives then the way we are sitting in the driver's seat represents the way we approach it. It’s really hard to move on when you’re looking the wrong way. There is nothing wrong with the car... what is wrong is the position some of us are sitting in, meaning there is nothing wrong with your life, and you’re just facing the wrong direction.

There are many things that can cause you to be out of alignment with life, but instead of focusing on the many, I’d like to talk about one thing in particular... And that is GUILT.

I was talking to a friend of mine yesterday. He was telling me about all the guilt that he feels. Guilt that his marriage fell apart. Guilt that he doesn’t get to see his kids very often. Guilt that he’s not in a financial position to do more for them. Guilt over the mistakes he’s made in his past. Guilt over lots of money that he wasted doing the wrong things. So much guilt about everything.

I had to stop him and remind him of a few things. What I know about guilt is this: guilt is a tool that is used to destroy you. We all make mistakes. We all have fallen short. We have all disappointed someone, including ourselves at some point. Unfortunately, there is nothing you can do about it. It's done. Instead of beating yourself up about it, how about putting that same energy into making sure that it doesn’t happen again and healing anyone who may have been hurt by it?

You can’t let guilt win or consume you. You can’t let it take over your thoughts because if you do, you will start a downward spiral. It’s like this... guilt is the trick that makes you feel that you’re unworthy, and if you feel that you’re unworthy then you will feel that you don’t deserve any good thing to happen to you. And so, as a man thinks so is he. If you think you don’t deserve good things you will never have good things. And when things are falling apart you will feel guilty that they are falling apart. Do you see the cycle? There is no winning here. In order to be free and be lifted you must let go of the guilt or it will keep you bound.

How do you do that? Well, it’s a process, but you start by asking forgiveness of whomever you hurt, ask forgiveness of God, and most of all ask forgiveness of yourself. Although God forgives us most easily, we sometimes can't forgive ourselves. You can’t get to great things ahead if you're always looking behind you. It’s like trying to drive your car in that awkward position.

Comments

Post Comment
  • Faith South Africa

    yeah that all true,to forgive someone,you are actually doing yourself a favor,life is so short to hold grudges.Tyler,you once mentioned it in one of you movies,

    Reply
  • Pavani Pillayu South Africa

    Its so hard to forgive when you have been hurt so deep

    Reply
  • Debbie Ivory c

    How do you begin to ask your kids to forgive for leaving them when they needed you most.

    Reply
    • JT Dallas #1797561

      To Debbie Ivory- tell them you were wrong, tell them that you hurt them by making that poor decision. Make yourself completely vulnerable to their rejection, judgment, and hurt because that is what they have felt as a result of your decision. Do not defend yourself. Then, ask them to forgive you and tell them you need them and will never, of your own free will, walk away from them again.

      Reply
  • sabrina Tennessee

    What can you do when they are trying to destroy you? Pray some more and ask JESUS to take th wheel! Lord i fell under the car after looking back so long driving in the wrong direction, I have to believe My son and I will overcome this, I have to believe I will fully forgive with help of course. I know My "husband" has an illness he is a pathological lair and narcestic, so i pray for him with that.. its all i can do as of now as i pull the knives out of twenty years. I hope your friend is able to take good advice from a Special messanger like you! God Bless us all and pray for everyone as i will too! Thnk you for letting me share

    Reply
  • Vernette Arizona

    you always give the best advise period.

    Reply
  • Stella Nairobi, Kenya

    Wow! I never thought of that before but it makes lots of sense

    Reply
  • Harry Green Dunwoody

    What a GREAT story brother. I liked how you stated that there's nothing wrong with our lives, its just that we're facing the wrong way. I just heard a pastor from Brooklyn (on a DVD) speak about the 5 D's used by the devil to get us off track. He called them in this order: DOUBT/ DISCOURAGEMENT/ DIVERSION/ DEFEAT/ & DELAY. And what you said Mr. Perry ties in sooo much to that lesson. Its like you guys had a meeting before he spoke.

    Reply
  • Denise Michelle Cooper

    awesome advice

    Reply
  • Sheneith Hawkins Dallas,Tx.

    I'm about to take a nap. Yes, its still snowing here. The boys are playing their PS3, laughing & pretty loud. I talked with Paulette, my brother in law, etc... Of course she made me laugh. Lol... Smh.... I love that girl. It never fails. I'm so thankful that God gave me family. Family that He saw fit. Ttyl... I gotta take me a quick nap. I started to ask you were you gonna leave your Christmas Tree up or were u gonna just put it up as is? :-) I love u, Hun

    Reply
  • tina chicago

    wow,i found your site at just the right moment,i will meditate on the word forgiveness,because you are so right,we all fall short and none of us can go back and undo the past,it is what it is,it was what it was,and life gos on, we have to figure out which way we wanna go,we can continue to live in the past and be sad and miserable or we can choose the future and move on,really life is to short,and tomorrow is not promised to anyone.

    Reply
  • nevaeh houston texas

    I am sorry could i be in your madea movies?you are alsome!!!

    Reply
  • nevaeh texas

    Could in your next movie? I think you are awesome.

    Reply
The Single Moms Club - Now Playing in Theaters