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Move On!

Here’s a thought (I DON'T WANT YOU TO DO THIS, JUST THINK ABOUT IT). Get into the front seat of your car, then turn your body around. Knees on the front seat with your back on the steering wheel, your face looking toward the trunk. Stay in that position and try to drive the car forward. It’s impossible, right? If by some miracle you do manage to go forward I guarantee you won't get very far. If the car represents our lives then the way we are sitting in the driver's seat represents the way we approach it. It’s really hard to move on when you’re looking the wrong way. There is nothing wrong with the car... what is wrong is the position some of us are sitting in, meaning there is nothing wrong with your life, and you’re just facing the wrong direction.

There are many things that can cause you to be out of alignment with life, but instead of focusing on the many, I’d like to talk about one thing in particular... And that is GUILT.

I was talking to a friend of mine yesterday. He was telling me about all the guilt that he feels. Guilt that his marriage fell apart. Guilt that he doesn’t get to see his kids very often. Guilt that he’s not in a financial position to do more for them. Guilt over the mistakes he’s made in his past. Guilt over lots of money that he wasted doing the wrong things. So much guilt about everything.

I had to stop him and remind him of a few things. What I know about guilt is this: guilt is a tool that is used to destroy you. We all make mistakes. We all have fallen short. We have all disappointed someone, including ourselves at some point. Unfortunately, there is nothing you can do about it. It's done. Instead of beating yourself up about it, how about putting that same energy into making sure that it doesn’t happen again and healing anyone who may have been hurt by it?

You can’t let guilt win or consume you. You can’t let it take over your thoughts because if you do, you will start a downward spiral. It’s like this... guilt is the trick that makes you feel that you’re unworthy, and if you feel that you’re unworthy then you will feel that you don’t deserve any good thing to happen to you. And so, as a man thinks so is he. If you think you don’t deserve good things you will never have good things. And when things are falling apart you will feel guilty that they are falling apart. Do you see the cycle? There is no winning here. In order to be free and be lifted you must let go of the guilt or it will keep you bound.

How do you do that? Well, it’s a process, but you start by asking forgiveness of whomever you hurt, ask forgiveness of God, and most of all ask forgiveness of yourself. Although God forgives us most easily, we sometimes can't forgive ourselves. You can’t get to great things ahead if you're always looking behind you. It’s like trying to drive your car in that awkward position.

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  • Frankie Hamden,Ct.

    Tyler, I think you are an amazing man. I thank God that he has blessed you and I admire your humility. I saw you on OWN with Oprah at T.D. Jakes Church. It was so good to see you sitting there. He has a great deal of wisdom to share. One of the things we say in church is"I may not be where I want to be, but thank God I'm not where I used to be." I love your movies and plays. Keep up the good work and keep God in your life.

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  • Melissa Glass philadelphia, Pa. united states

    I meant to say thank you. also, I meant to say what you been up to? I was saying you were on "the talk" and 106 in park. why we wasn't inform . also, i was say isn't our god faithful. had to correct my mistake. you ok.

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  • Melissa Glass Philadelphia, pa. united states

    "to god be the glory". forever and ever amen. how are you? mr. perry. I love you. I do remember the day, when I was feeling guilty. it toke me so long time to forgiven that person, but it is important to forgiven them and forgive you self it you don't it will destroy you that is true. you ok. I miss you smile.... so much have happen since, the last time, that I have wrote you. but i'm fine think for asking lol. what's up with you? you been up to. did you suffer any damage in the hurricane. hope you are well in your family. one more thing, than i have to go I'm tried going to sleep. ok tyler, you were on 'the talk in 106 and park why wasn't we inform you use to tell us everything , what happen. anyway, I do love you . you love me smile. . I know you do. when you get a minute write back than I know you do lol. goota go. Congrats, obama four more years. yes. it was written. God is the man isn't he faithful is oue god. love you. peace and love be unto youin jesus name amen. Melissa

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  • nina North Carolina

    I was 15 when I gave birth to my daughter. ever seen that I feel guilty because I fell my parents and myself. I move on with my life when to school and college raise my kids. but still I have always carry that guilt with me feel a bad for myself. thanks so much for this posting it have make me realize that after all I need to drive the car not halfway but all the way and let go all that quilt and move on.May god bless you.

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  • Cindy London

    Thanks for this. I experienced this feeling of guilt and the negative behavoir, most of my life, extremely religious upbringing. Felt really bad, especially after hurricane Katrina. When all the S*** came down, all over, all of us there. I´m in London, UK now. Things are still very hard, but I have experienced a few of the nice things, since I´m here. Working/struggling with my acting and writing, newly found joys, since I left NO. I've seen several of your films. But I didn´t realize how good you are till I saw, "Why Did I Get Married Too." Keep on writing and telling real stories, Tyler. Helping us through our struggles. So that we can "let the good imes roll."

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  • Koki Atlanta, GA

    Hi Tyler, Thanks much for sharing. You're a wise man & I am so Proud of all your work. I am Ethiopian girl working as Project Manager/Personal life Coach & enjoy creating new stories. God willing-I hope to work for you someday & share my new life stories for your new movie . I really admire your work & you really inspire me to do grow & help others. May God bless you & make you the Happiest man on this planet! Much love:)

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  • Carolyn Oxnard, CA (Silverstrand Beach)

    THANK YOU sooo much for your message. I grew up in a religious right Christian home and went to a far right Christian school and have a hard time forgiving them for all the garbage that they put on me and me feel guilty living my life. I moved to Southern Calif. in 1986 and have gone to a church that doesn't judge by what you wear, how you talk, what is going on in your life and on and on. I have much guilt from that far right lifestyle and a hard home to live in where I often felt like running away. Right now I deal with Fibromyalgia and have been on disability for 14 years and my husband has done basically everything around the home because of my pain. My sister can't handle hearing about the things I go through and neither can my dad. They are both only capable of getting things done for them and not looking out for their own family but they will be open to listening to strangers. I could go on and on but I won't. Right now I am passing kidney stones and it hurts so bad and I read your message and shared it with my husband and friends and will put it on my blog because so many out there are going through guilt in their lives. I feel guilty that my husband has to do everything for me during this time. I will keep reading til I can change my heart. Thank the Lord that He forgives me! God Bless!

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  • Tasha Seattle

    I love you!

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  • LM SS, Pa

    Feeling the worst today, everything seems to be all wrong... lately, I've been praising God instead of praying to Him because I'm trying to keep in perspective- all the many blessings He's graced me with... instead of focusing on what I don't have. Tyler, this message was encouraging... however I'm sitting in the right direction and driving straight... the problem is the turns... as God is my GPS... and as we all know He works in His own time... I'm not forwarned about all the turns and bumps in the road... and I'm wondering if He knows I'm almost out of gas... I'm not religious, simply a believer... faith keeps me trusting that He hears and answers. But sometimes it works like forgiveness... no matter what, there's a part of you that can not forget and thinks you should prepare for the worst. It's silly how round the world is and how square life's turns become... when all everybody's trying to do is get to the top of the triangle (LOL) needed that laugh :) Pray for me :)

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  • Marlene Dietrich Watson Chesterfield

    Dear Tyler Perry I loved your Alex Cross movie. You were extraordinary. It was the Tyler Perry I never seen before. You are indeed the j*** of all trades. You are very talented and I would love to meet you one day. Tyler you what would be nice if you could have Oprah Winfrey, Dr.Steve Perry from TVONE in your movies or sitcom. They are caring people like you that sends a powerful message to people. P.S. Please continue to pray for me while I am in Florence-Darlington Technical in the Registered Nursing program in Florence, SC. If everything goes accordind to plan I will graduate in May of 2014. Love you Marlene Dietrich Watson. I will be 43 years old.

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  • Rosie Carter-Kretz Manchester UK

    Just what I needed to hear, I thank you

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  • marylaconia Boykin Tennessee

    You are so true ...thats why I stay positive...and try stay away from negativity...!!! God Bless

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