Tyler Perry.com


Move On!

Here’s a thought (I DON'T WANT YOU TO DO THIS, JUST THINK ABOUT IT). Get into the front seat of your car, then turn your body around. Knees on the front seat with your back on the steering wheel, your face looking toward the trunk. Stay in that position and try to drive the car forward. It’s impossible, right? If by some miracle you do manage to go forward I guarantee you won't get very far. If the car represents our lives then the way we are sitting in the driver's seat represents the way we approach it. It’s really hard to move on when you’re looking the wrong way. There is nothing wrong with the car... what is wrong is the position some of us are sitting in, meaning there is nothing wrong with your life, and you’re just facing the wrong direction.

There are many things that can cause you to be out of alignment with life, but instead of focusing on the many, I’d like to talk about one thing in particular... And that is GUILT.

I was talking to a friend of mine yesterday. He was telling me about all the guilt that he feels. Guilt that his marriage fell apart. Guilt that he doesn’t get to see his kids very often. Guilt that he’s not in a financial position to do more for them. Guilt over the mistakes he’s made in his past. Guilt over lots of money that he wasted doing the wrong things. So much guilt about everything.

I had to stop him and remind him of a few things. What I know about guilt is this: guilt is a tool that is used to destroy you. We all make mistakes. We all have fallen short. We have all disappointed someone, including ourselves at some point. Unfortunately, there is nothing you can do about it. It's done. Instead of beating yourself up about it, how about putting that same energy into making sure that it doesn’t happen again and healing anyone who may have been hurt by it?

You can’t let guilt win or consume you. You can’t let it take over your thoughts because if you do, you will start a downward spiral. It’s like this... guilt is the trick that makes you feel that you’re unworthy, and if you feel that you’re unworthy then you will feel that you don’t deserve any good thing to happen to you. And so, as a man thinks so is he. If you think you don’t deserve good things you will never have good things. And when things are falling apart you will feel guilty that they are falling apart. Do you see the cycle? There is no winning here. In order to be free and be lifted you must let go of the guilt or it will keep you bound.

How do you do that? Well, it’s a process, but you start by asking forgiveness of whomever you hurt, ask forgiveness of God, and most of all ask forgiveness of yourself. Although God forgives us most easily, we sometimes can't forgive ourselves. You can’t get to great things ahead if you're always looking behind you. It’s like trying to drive your car in that awkward position.

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  • Taunya Arkansas

    Hello Tyler. I just received your message in my email box and I just wanted to say thank you. I have been struggling with guilt for so long and I just can't seem to let it go. I talk to my mother about some things that had gone on in my life that she didn't know about. She asked me a question that I never really thought about. She asked me why is it that my daughter and myself felt as though we didn't deserve to be loved and/or respected. Yes, I have a 20 yr. old daughter that seem to be determined to walk DIRECTLY in my foot steps. I have two daughters and I truly don't want them to do the same things I did and now regret and feel guilty about. I didn't have an answer for my mom and I still don't. I find a way to blame myself for every set back that I or my family have. Your words make me feel as though I can truly make a change, but I don't know what else to do. My only problem seems to be forgiving myself.....anyway, I just wanted to say thank you for another inspirational message. God bless.

  • Mochadee Dallas, Tx

    Hi Tyler thank you for your inspiring words on guilt which many of us face today. I was once like your friend and then I found God. God will remove all guilt, pain , heartaches, etc.. It's such a blessing that your friend has you as a friend that teaches him the Gospel instead of "World view" it's also a blessing that God use your voice to connect with millions to spread his love around. I thank you for your kindness and I love you.

  • JR usa

    I just looked at your play I don't want to do wrong I would say it was your best play ever . I think that play can go somewhere

  • nosipho South Africa,EasternCape,East London

    Whow all I can say is thank you for opening my eyes

  • shaza elarabi KSA

    Hi,Tyler my name is Shaza Iam 33 african woman from Sudan Ilive in Saudi Arabia mother of two children their father leave me and went China when my second son was 57 days now he is ten years old leave me in abad sitution in Saudi Arabia with out legal documents for me and my children Ihave big big big big problem to join my sons to school because we have not legal documents and that is hurt me and make me crying every day.Tyler all this years Iwake up and Iam very scary because we have not legal documents and that is against the law in this country.Isent my message over 700 times to mama Oprah email and thousands time in Harpo answer machine and Isent mail in 2008 with my photo and my children photos to Harpo Prodiction and not find replay.please please please Tyler read my message and help me you and mama Oprah to live in America to find chance of work and good teaching to my children .Iknow you are busy man but Ipray every day to read my message and call me.Iread your last message you are very very good man when my husband leave me Iforgive him easly but idont forgive my self Ifeel angry and gulty and that is effect to my children.you deserve woman and children because you are good man and the woman marry you she is very very lucky and god love her.sorry about my English Iam not very good at English Ispeak Arabic.THANK YOU.

  • Lakeisha N.Hemphill Austin Tx

    I understand and agree ...guilt will ruin your soul,life and any chance at real happiness you may have. Acceptance,Understanding and Moving on is the only way we can move pass the guilt. Let go of resentment and anamosity in order to reach your own spiritual, emotional, mental and physical high. Strive for the stars...then shoot further. Food for thought...Good actions will give you a better Reaction...and possibly end result. Life is hard but its always someone going through more than you.I dont use this to build myself up, I use this as a reality check. Something to help me aspire to not only make a difference in peoples lives,but to motivate myself to do what needs to be done. Change Starts In You!

  • Karen Brown Marion IL

    True guilt is the gentle, persistent prodding of the Holy Spirit, which leads us to acknowledge that we have indeed failed or fallen short of God's law. That recognition of failure compels us to repent and seek God's forgiveness and to experience once again the freedom and restoration made possible by Christ's all-sufficient sacrifice. Guilt that leads to repentance liberates the soul. Blessings Karen

  • Priscilla South Carolina

    This is so true, you need to forgive in order to move on. Holding on to guilt is like holding on to a toxic relationship, they both serve you no purpose in life.

  • Karen Brown Marion Il

    Guilt is the emotional and spiritual weight we bear as the result of sin against others and against God. Christ taught that the acknowledgement of our true guilt is the door through which we can experience the cleansing and renewal of being forgiven. True guilt is the gentle, persistent prodding of the Holy Spirit, which leads us to acknowledge that we have indeed failed or fallen short of God's law. That recognition of failure compels us to repent and seek God's forgiveness and to experience once again the freedom and restoration made possible by Christ's all sufficient sacrifice. Guilt that leads to repentance liberates the soul. Blessings Karen

  • Ebony San Antonio, TX

    You have just confirm a conversation that I had wth a friend. The past only keeps you locked up in a time and place of pain. God said that He has come to give us life more abundently. I have chosen to let go of my pass and for give my abusers and live in a place of forgiveness and freedom from all of the Love that God showered on me to heal my heart. God Bless and much continued success. Ebony

  • Ryan Tin Loy Honolulu, HI

    OMG Tyler! after reading this I really felt like you were speaking directly to me. I've been dealing with this issue alot lately for some unexplainable reason.

  • Gina Lackey United States

    Thank You Tyler that was perfect timing on getting this email. I needed that I have been thinking that I need to move on and getting this email was like my confirmation to do it. God moves in mysterious ways. God Bless You

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