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I Still Miss You

I woke up this morning missing you like you'll never know. I dream about you. Sometimes when I'm alone I can hear your laughter fill the room. It was such a distinct laugh. It meant that everything was right in the world. On Sunday I would watch you singing your heart out in the choir, shouting about how good our God is. We didn't tell the preacher that on Friday night you were singing down-home blues at the top of your lungs, sipping your Hennessy. You loved the blues. You loved playing tonk till midnight in the projects. That was fun you'd say... for you. I wanted to go to bed :-)

I can almost hear you singing right now. Z.Z. Hill was your favorite blues singer. I can feel you from when you would hug me so tight and tell me, "everything is gonn be alright" and how much you loved me. I remember when you were mad at me. That never lasted long. Every year on my birthday you would call me and sing the Happy Birthday song to me. I would call you and ask if you needed anything, anything at all, and you would say, "I need you to be happy".

I don't know if I could have truly expressed how proud I was of you, but I was so proud of you. I remember you saying, "you know I did the best I could with you..." And yes, I know that. I know that you loved me like no other on this earth. Your best was more than good enough. IT WAS!

And I loved you. I still love you so much. I know I was your hope and I know I am your dream. I know that you couldn't go on anymore. I know your body was letting you down although you wanted to stay for us. I'm glad you have no more pain but I have pain now missing you every day. It's been almost four years now, so it's getting easier. Knowing you're with our God helps me get through.

I love and miss you every day. I'm OK now. Standing on my own. Holding you in my heart.

I love you mamma and I always will.

W. Maxine Perry
1945-2009

If you're reading this, tell them you love them before it's too late.

Comments (page 9)

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  • Denise Holiday Linden, NJ

    Hello Tyler, You are always inspiring. I lost my mom in October, shortly before super storm Sandy. My Mom unfortunately had Alzheimers, so she was gone long before in some ways, but she still had that smile, and we always said I love you! I have been missing her for so long and I didn't get to see her often. I agree Tyler...say I love you as much as you can. I always expected her to be there...she lived to be 95...Thankful to have had her for all those years...I'm sorry you lost your mom, I know you miss her...keeping you in prayer always.

    Reply
  • Felicia Niles Brooklyn

    It's been 29 years and l still miss her, lost her at the age of eighteen. I thank her for making me a strong woman and mother.

    Reply
  • A Dreamer

    Praying for you my friend. Thank you for sharing your heart with us.....May the grace of God continue to be with you.....

    Reply
  • thelma massachusetts

    @tylerperry God tells us to honor our mother+ father all the days of our lives.You are obeying HIS word + surly your mom is smiling at you.she sang down here I believe she still sings.

    Reply
  • Yolanda Greensboro, NC

    I love this message. This Thursday (Aug. 1 @ 1:47pm) will be the one year anniversary that God called my mom home. I know that it's only by His grace and comfort that I have made it through this last year. I admire your strength and all of the positive things that you do. I pray for your continued blessings so that you can continue to bless others.

    Reply
  • Lenora Orlando

    Such sweet words. I don't have a relationship with my mother and she doesn't have one with hers, so I can't really relate. However, I did just have my first child eight weeks ago and I pray that she will have as much love and respect for me as you have for your mother. God bless.

    Reply
  • SVW (TX)

    Your letter to your mom is beautiful and pure; yet it reads with the captivation of a perfectly written monologue. It is truly a gift to be able to sincerely put feelings into words; and even more special when others are able to be genuinely touched as well. -Be Blessed!

    Reply
  • G.S ATL

    Mother no one can replace you your love is unconditional and you always place the needs of your children above your own . Love you

    Reply
  • Traci Wells Memphis,Tennessee

    The Bible say love is the greatest gift.

    Reply
  • Karen Philadelphia

    I was really touched by your very endearing message about your mother. I felt somewhat comforted with the fact that it is now going on four years from your mother's passing and you still experience pain. My daughter passed away in July of 2010 - totally unexpected while she was on vacation. My heart still aches, but I just have to believe that the Lord will lessen the pain with His Comfort as He promised. K. Gilliam 1

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  • Anita B Adams Burlington, NC

    I was thinking of my parents this morning, who both passed away in 1993 when I was only 11 years old. I am writing a book about my life and all that's happened to me as a kid. And it's so strange that every time I think about not finishing, giving up on it or not telling the world what happened to me I get an email from you. No matter what the subject is, or what is on your mind that day you always manage to get me through my bad days. I am honored to be a part of your online family and I've never written you before, but today is different. I wrote almost exact words about my mom in my book and I want you to know that I feel your pain!!! I've been there and I am still there praying to God to get me through all my pain. God Bless you Tyler, for all you do for others even without knowing it. You're my true inspiration and motivation to make it!!! -Roses are still blue-

    Reply
  • Karen Ervin Baltimore, Maryland

    Tyler, I can't begin to imagine how you must feel because I still have my mother with me. It sounds like you and your mom had a great relationship and she was your biggest fan. Continue to revel in the memories and even laugh out loud at some of them. Your mom was able to see the man that you have become before her passing and I'm sure you made her extremely proud. Wow, I didn't realize nearly four years had gone by already. Continue doing what you're doing. Luv ya!

    Reply
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