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I Still Miss You

I woke up this morning missing you like you'll never know. I dream about you. Sometimes when I'm alone I can hear your laughter fill the room. It was such a distinct laugh. It meant that everything was right in the world. On Sunday I would watch you singing your heart out in the choir, shouting about how good our God is. We didn't tell the preacher that on Friday night you were singing down-home blues at the top of your lungs, sipping your Hennessy. You loved the blues. You loved playing tonk till midnight in the projects. That was fun you'd say... for you. I wanted to go to bed :-)

I can almost hear you singing right now. Z.Z. Hill was your favorite blues singer. I can feel you from when you would hug me so tight and tell me, "everything is gonn be alright" and how much you loved me. I remember when you were mad at me. That never lasted long. Every year on my birthday you would call me and sing the Happy Birthday song to me. I would call you and ask if you needed anything, anything at all, and you would say, "I need you to be happy".

I don't know if I could have truly expressed how proud I was of you, but I was so proud of you. I remember you saying, "you know I did the best I could with you..." And yes, I know that. I know that you loved me like no other on this earth. Your best was more than good enough. IT WAS!

And I loved you. I still love you so much. I know I was your hope and I know I am your dream. I know that you couldn't go on anymore. I know your body was letting you down although you wanted to stay for us. I'm glad you have no more pain but I have pain now missing you every day. It's been almost four years now, so it's getting easier. Knowing you're with our God helps me get through.

I love and miss you every day. I'm OK now. Standing on my own. Holding you in my heart.

I love you mamma and I always will.

W. Maxine Perry
1945-2009

If you're reading this, tell them you love them before it's too late.

Comments (page 2)

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  • M.H

    In this day September the thirteenth a great woman gave burth to a great man. Hint: I got all my flowers. And on this day a famous woman lauched her own company with only five thousand dollars to her name. Hint: Pink Cadillac. Perry,may God bless you and all your future launches while continuing to give flowers to the great women of the world. Enjoy this new day Baby Boy;)Love Ya

    Reply
    • M.H #1874056

      Correction: On this day. Gave birth.oops had to change my mistakes.

      Reply
  • Mona Bo Little Rock, AR

    Wow Mr. Perry, Just reading your love note to momma Perry brings tears to my eyes! That's going to be me one day:( how sincere to share so much with us, you're special - undefinable. Thank You! Mona Bo

    Reply
  • Francis Dallas, TX

    Hi Tyler, I would like to say I'm a big fan of yours. I like all of your work . I 'm a member of the Potters House and I want to thank you for your donations to the church for the expansion. What a blessing!!! As I sat there that Sunday in church, I have to be honest, I was bit confused and frustrated. You see I'm a single parent, my son has went to college, finished and has been blessed with a good job (engineer). I am very proud of him. But, throughout all the years of struggling to get him thru school and praying the Lord send me my king. Im still praying the same prayer: I''m still struggling financially and still awaiting my king!! I just want to give up sometimes; I'm tired, I wonder where God is? I know I'm being fed with good word but I do struggle. I just want to know what is it that made you push when you felt like just giving up? I'm tired of being broke/single!!! What do I need to do to change my circumstances? Praying for help!

    Reply
  • Muthony wa Gatumo Embu-Kenya

    i didnt cry... i made myself NOT TO CRY for her.... i made myself let her go, 2 months 3 days ago.... i forced myself, in this respect, to be her friend, and not her child.... i told myself that THAT IS THE BEST THING I COULD EVER DO... THE LAST GIFT TO MY MOTHER..... letting her go... being brave enough to love her enough to wish no more pain and so much repressed stress, which her body could no longer handle.... the last weeks of her life being a living and breathing nightmare, as my kid brother and i did EVERYTHING for her... sometimes by force since she was from the old school, and her 'little daughter' wasnt supposed to wash her and clean her up when she couldnt..... and 7 years 2 months on the dot, since i came to visit her 'for only 2 weeks', i watched her white coffin slowly descend to her body's final resting place... and i didnt cry... i forced myself to let her truly and really rest... to go be with her God whom she'd clung to all her life, to The Place she's so much longed to be especially these past last years of her life....and today, as the deepest of horrors of it all, of exactly what happened to my mummy, kicks in, in the most subtle of ways.... am glad i did it, just as i know God is helping me deal with it.... & that it'll never be ok that she's gone... am glad that i forced myself to let her go... am glad that she's as happy as she must surely be as i write this..... THII NA WEGA, MAMI.....

    Reply
    • That is the true meaning of RestInPeace Congratulations! #1873753

      Now Live everyday like it's your last, Love with out fear from the bowels of your heart and be Happy all the days of your life, Sharing it with that Extraordinarily Special Person! OneLove - Ms Kat.

      Reply
  • Olivia Johnson North carolina

    Mr. Perry, I know that I may never meet you, but on this day I share your pain. I read your comment concerning your Mother leaving, and even though she's been gone since 2009, it will get easier for you to bear. You see, Mr. Perry, my oldest son would had been 44years old today, but his life was cut short. I will never forget his smile or the way he would try to make me smile when he saw that I was blue. But like you, I rest with the assurance that he is in a much better place. So keep your chin-up and it will get better. Will you ever stop missing your Mom, NO, but it will get easier to bear. Love and peace Olivia

    Reply
  • Sheila Hines Glen Carbon, Il

    I read 'I Still Miss You', tears started to fill my eyes. My mom's homegoing was in June of last year. I thought that there was no way to describe how the lost of my mother pulled at my heart. Being a Christian, people tell you that you should be glad that your loved one is not suffering anymore. They are in a better place, but then there's the pain of loss that you feel. I loved my mother as you loved yours. I truly know how you feel. Sometimes all I do is have a thought and the tears start, then there are times when I just yell, I miss you momma, and I feel a longing for my mother that is an ache. I figured that I was just being overly dramatic in my grief. We did so much together, singing at the mother/daughter banquets , in the women's day choir, working to together in mission and believe it or not we even went to the movies at 12am for the 1st showings of the Lord of the Rings(all three). I took my mom to see her first and only Tyler Perry play. I have an admiration and love for you as if you were one of my brothers and I have three already. I appreciate that God has blessed you with so much talent!!!!! It is awesome and my pray for you is that he gives you even more. My mother always told me that I was special. I of course don't see it. But I see you. You are SPECIAL! You remember that! That's right, I said it!!! Thank you for sharing a part of yourself so richly. You have touched me and reminded me that I'm going to get better at missing my mom. That my pain of loss will soften and I'll just have my sweet memories. Thank you T-man with all my heart

    Reply
  • Barbara

    I too miss my mom Ms. B (1), you were my one-woman cheer leading team! Always rooting for me, cheering me on calling me titles that I had not yet accomplished, nor even able to see myself as. Always so proud of me and although we lived a poor life according to the world's standards......I was rich from your love that helped transform me into the woman of God I am today! Funny as I write this letter to you and the tears roll down my face, I see how your never-ending, unconditional love toward me has helped me love my own daughter through her triumphs and adversities to see her out the rose colored glasses that you saw me through, to see her not where she is now, but where God has purposed and destined her to be. Thank you for showing and showering me with that love that changed me, inspired me, freed me, and most of all has allowed me to share with the world without regrets! I know you are still cheering for me in heaven and when the time comes I look forward to finding you in heaven on Mother's Lane waiting to embrace me once again......but until then keep praying for me that I might change the lives of someone with my love as you did....I miss you and oh yeah I am what u always called me....Dr. B. James

    Reply
  • Kimberly Texas

    Just know that it will continue to get easier, one day at a time! The love that you received and shared with your mamma was genuine and that within itself is PRICELESS! You are entitled to celebrate,cry,laugh,and miss her! She seeded,watered and nurtured you that you would one day make that very statement, " Standing on my own." With the understanding that the Lord is always with you. Eph. 6:10

    Reply
  • Shandela Cofer Dallas Tx.

    I saw you there @the Potter's House today I never saw anyone lay hands on the bishop and pray for him it was such an awesome thing to witness im watching you man of God and my steps have been ordered right now I am dining with mine enemies but God when God finishes putting my life in its proper I wanna be just like you when I grow up you told the story of my life when you wrote that movie Mr. DEEDS WELL almost anyway I havent got to the end but soon ill be able to take my seat what you did for God today and our church was soo awesome man and I can't thank you enough I'll get theressomeday its strong in my belly I see ya Ms. CEE'S

    Reply
  • Katrina L. Harris- Richards Chicago

    Hello Tyler, I enjoyed reading this passage. It brings back memories. My dad was called home to be with God in November of 2000. I was reminiscing about him yesterday. I think of him quite often, especially during the holidays. I miss his barbecue, smile, and laugh. He always told me to respect my elders, act like a lady, and also have respect for myself. He raised my brother and I to perfection. I can remember he would take us for long rides, and we will have picnics. During Christmas times he will take us all over the city to see the decorations! When he became ill my family and I stood by him. we had a conversation one day, and I stated"dad if I said anything you didn't appreciate, I apologize, and I will always love you". I would like to state to these young individuals, appreciate your parents, and respect them at all times! Parents are one of the best gifts from God. I also want to tell my MOM PEARL, MY LOVE FOR U IS PRICELESS. I LOVE U DEARLY!!! LOVE YOUR YOUNGEST SHAWNI.

    Reply
  • Tara Hale jackson tennessee

    I want to you that u really touch my heart n soul.I have all your movies and plays.I am going through radiation right now and you have been my inspiration.i love you and pray to meet you someday.thats my real name and number hint hint lolPraying for you always.GOD BLESS

    Reply
  • tiffany delane anywhere usa

    Like yourself Tyler I am a writer and I would love to speak with you about my ability to write and touch on alot of the same points you have had in your life. #onelovelucky77 check me out please sir www.facebook.com/tiffdelane

    Reply
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