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I Still Miss You

I woke up this morning missing you like you'll never know. I dream about you. Sometimes when I'm alone I can hear your laughter fill the room. It was such a distinct laugh. It meant that everything was right in the world. On Sunday I would watch you singing your heart out in the choir, shouting about how good our God is. We didn't tell the preacher that on Friday night you were singing down-home blues at the top of your lungs, sipping your Hennessy. You loved the blues. You loved playing tonk till midnight in the projects. That was fun you'd say... for you. I wanted to go to bed :-)

I can almost hear you singing right now. Z.Z. Hill was your favorite blues singer. I can feel you from when you would hug me so tight and tell me, "everything is gonn be alright" and how much you loved me. I remember when you were mad at me. That never lasted long. Every year on my birthday you would call me and sing the Happy Birthday song to me. I would call you and ask if you needed anything, anything at all, and you would say, "I need you to be happy".

I don't know if I could have truly expressed how proud I was of you, but I was so proud of you. I remember you saying, "you know I did the best I could with you..." And yes, I know that. I know that you loved me like no other on this earth. Your best was more than good enough. IT WAS!

And I loved you. I still love you so much. I know I was your hope and I know I am your dream. I know that you couldn't go on anymore. I know your body was letting you down although you wanted to stay for us. I'm glad you have no more pain but I have pain now missing you every day. It's been almost four years now, so it's getting easier. Knowing you're with our God helps me get through.

I love and miss you every day. I'm OK now. Standing on my own. Holding you in my heart.

I love you mamma and I always will.

W. Maxine Perry
1945-2009

If you're reading this, tell them you love them before it's too late.

Comments

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  • Patricia Y. Burditt Carson, CA

    Hello Tyler I am a single mother and I really want to be a great mom to all my children. It been hard raising my children when I was raising them The help of my great God and my mother who was a 100% helping me Tyler I want you to know that you are a great writer keep up the excellent job that you are doing. I really enjoy watching the have and have nots. I can't wait until the next seasons come out. I have seen all of the shows. Thank for bring the shows to OWN.Your Truly Miss. Patricia Y. Burdtt itt

    Reply
  • Marellen Texas

    Thank you so much for allowing us to peer into your heart! I was weeping by the end...with understanding and appreciation for you and for your mamma. My heart still cries out-with love and longing-for my own mother...who gave me her best and her song. I will always write about her 'song' that was everpresent-no matter what.

    Reply
  • Rhonda Nc

    I know how u feel....I was put in a terrible position....I was formally an emt...my father called me and I went to my parents home, finding my mother lying in the kitchen floor..she was almost gone..I did everything I knew possible to revive her....I tried several times after that to destroy myself, and I found my calling....god showed me why my mom had to go first and then several years later I had to help my father cross over...but the beauty in that was he was an alcoholic and verbally abusive and I witnessed to him and before he passed away he received Christ.....know I know why my mother left first...so I could lead my father to The Lord....it was very tough after mom died...dad was more than a handful.....but thank god he is home in heaven.....Rhonda

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  • Candace US

    As we both know, the holidays can be hard for people. I'm not going to get into the details about this, because I am not going to cry today, but...[smiling] ...I pray that the Holy Spirit is with you this holiday season. I pray that your home and heart are filled to capacity with love that you didn't even know you needed. May His love radiate from your face so much so that it encourages those who don't have a relationship with Him. Merry Christmas, Mr. Perry. With all my love... Candace.

    Reply
  • Denise Beverly Hills, California

    This isn't a comment but a question??What is going on with the comments about Kim Kardashian?? Did Tyler leave a post that people don't care for??? What the heck is going on??

    Reply
  • Tyler,

    I LOVE YOU! xoxo #1 Fan

    Reply
  • elaine TN

    Borrowed blessing.........never a loss. To be loved is to live in someone's heart forever.

    Reply
  • Jeannine Chatman Winter Haven, Fl.

    That was very beautiful. I can't say that I know what it feels like because I don't but I have helped alot of people through their lose and heartache. What ever she asked you to do please do it . To fulfill their last wishes is always a blessing. I just wanted to tell you that you are wonderful the way you are. When God places the right one there for you try not to miss that sign. Keep on keeping God first and you will not fail. My mom and my children love you and on that personal level I love and adore you honey. Hope to hear from yoh really soon. #Miss.Ninnie

    Reply
  • Michelle Fl

    Tyler, your mother may not have been perfect, none of us are, but she the values she instilled im YOU are a testament to what a great mom she was! Bet she is so proud of the man you are. And I bet she's 'singin' a 'lil' gospel and blues in Heaven! Much respect...

    Reply
  • Marian MD

    Hey TeaPea, Hope you are well. I'm reading your messages that I haven't had a chance to read before, and just came across this one. AMEN! Tell your Mom (and Dad) that you love them OFTEN and do small things for them, just because, like, sending Thinking of You cards, flowers, or surprise them with some of their favorite sweets from time to time. Of course, your presence means the most. Just a thought. TeaPea, have a good weekend. your sister, M.

    Reply
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  • Stella Adams Maryland

    In August, my debut novel, Heavy is the Rain, was released by Plenary Publishers. How do I get a copy to Mr. Perry? I'm told, and I agree of course, that it's a real page turner! People who have read it say it should be a stage play or a movie ala Tyler Perry. It's a coming-of-age period piece set in Baltimore about a little girl who--with the help of a mysterious grandmother and an angry young mle friend--overcomes her childhood traumas. For details see my webpage stelladams.net. I love to have Mr. Perry read it, if for nothing more than reading enjoyment. Thanks -- Stella Adams

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